I’m 40. Here’s 39 Things I Still Don’t Know

first_imgSign up for our COVID-19 newsletter to stay up-to-date on the latest coronavirus news throughout New York It’s my 40th birthday. Like any monumentally important milestone, it got me thinking about who I am and what I know, who I thought I’d be by now and who I actually am. What, I wonder, do I have to show for 40 years on this green earth?But here’s the thing. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the older I got, the less I knew. I’m less sure about things I knew for certain when I was 30. At 20, life was a no-brainer: get a degree, marry the guy, get the job, have the kids. By 30, I had the kids and had no time to think about anything – but I could still tell you that breast beat bottle, that children shouldn’t watch too much television and that being a mom is the be-all and end-all of my life’s purpose.And now, on the big day?I’m glad that I breastfed my kids, but no longer have a strong opinion about what others do. My children have probably watched more TV than is acceptable by my compatriots in the mommy mafia.And is being a mom fulfilling? Absolutely. But is it everything? Where do my kids end and I begin?The answer is I don’t know. And the truth is that there are a lot of things I still don’t know. I have learned a thing or two here and there. I’ve learned not to have any heroes. Heroes often let you down. But that it’s okay because I’ve disappointed myself and I’m learning to forgive all of us.I’ve learned that I don’t want to be a brand. I don’t want to be defined by the things I buy or the candidates I vote for. I don’t want to be locked into a belief system that is so rigid I can’t be open to learning new things.Now the things I don’t know far outweigh what I’m sure of. Here are 39 of them. Maybe I’ll find the answers by my 50th.What I Don’t Know by Age 40:What I want to be when I grow upHow to keep it that way after I clean the houseHow to meditateHow to save moneyHow to make meatloafThe lyrics to “Yellow Ledbetter”How not to cry when I’m angryHow to thicken my skinHow to achieve great eyebrowsHow to be a wife, mother, employee and human being simultaneouslyHow to not order a second (or third) glass of wineThe difference between an alligator and a crocodileWhether Pluto is considered a planet or notHow to do a cartwheelHow to not care what others think of meWhy women vote RepublicanWhat happens when you dieHow to fold a fitted sheetHow to wear a scarfHow to organize anythingHow to achieve balanceWhy I can’t just use the fancy towelsWhy I need a pocketbook when I have pocketsThe difference between foundation and concealer, and how to apply eitherHow to be in the momentIf ghosts are realHow to disagree amicablyHow to be satisfied with what I haveHow some people don’t drink coffeeOr don’t like chocolateHow to code (or what that really means)How to do a headstandIf God is realHow Trump got this farWhat happened at the end of the SopranosHow to get through Joyce’s UlyssesHow to pronounce “quinoa,” “acai” and “manicotti.” I only want to eat the last one.Why pot isn’t legalMy placelast_img

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